Let Me Answer That By Asking You This….

      So, my life is basically me in a house with a very stereotypical fence and a garden with both vegetables and flowers. I’m pretty sure there is a pond in the back yard. The sun is overhead. He’s yelling at everyone to put two scoops of raisins in their Raisin Brand Crunch cereal.

One day zombies attack my house. Steven Sneed is there with his trusty sword of justice to fight off the zombie menace. I take my guitar up on my roof and rock out while Steven does all the dirty work. I use the power of speed metal to blow their minds and rid the world of evil.

 For some reason there is a rainbow above my house that just won’t go away. Does that mean I’m gay? I don’t feel gay. And I’m pretty positive I’m not attracted to guys. Hopefully one day scientists will create a cure for chronic rainbow-over-house syndrome. But until then I’m kinda screwed.

My cat is very fluffy and seems to like Jeremy, my roommate I guess. The apple tree in the back yard, next to the kiddie pool, is in bloom. The garage is basically just a door that we park our cars in front of. So it looks like we have a garage but are to full of ourselves to use it.

The porch is very small and leads to the back yard. There is a swing set and a slide there for some reason. We don’t use it. It’s probably for the neighborhood kids. The fence door into the yard has barbed wire above it so that the cat doesn’t jump out. The rainbow is still there and it seems as though there is no sign of it going away. I guess thats what my life will be like in the next 3 years.

Step 1: Get your victim on the ground.

Step 2. Place their mouth on a cornered surface or a “Curb” if your in the street.

Step 3. CURB STOMP!!!!!!!!!!

Gregg Humphree was a small young crippled boy who loved baseball. Unfortunately, he was crippled. So he never got a chance to play. One day, Gregg went to a baseball game with his midget dad and transvestite mother. The batter hit the ball high into the stands.

“Catch the ball, Gregg. It’s what you’ve been waiting for your whole life!!” Shouted his mother. He raised his good arm up in the air. The ball was mere feet away. With a big smile on his face he reached for the ball.

Well, he missed the ball. But only because the popcorn vendor guy accidentally tripped over his wheelchair and sent Gregg rocketing towards the railing. He hit the railing and was launched from his wheelchair and landed infront of his favorite player.

“What’s wrong kid? You look a little down.” asked Berry Flanigan, number 27 of the Bismark Bongos. “M-y hed hertz a lot cause of my fall off my wheelymobile… sir.” replyed Gregg. “Yeah, I can see that. Hey kid, wanna take third base?” asked Berry. “I has to go make me a different pants.” said Gregg. “Uhhmmmmm…………okay?”

So Gregg took third base as Berry had requested. It didn’t last long though. A very large player ran to third base and trampled Gregg to death. On his way to hell he noticed that he had soiled his pants. When he got to hell, Satan was very confused. “Why would a little crippled boy end up in hell?” asked Satan. “I in my room in my pants playing games… sir.” said Gregg. “Well, then make yourself comfortable and grab yourself an unwanted-baby-cabob off the grill and wash it down with a Dr. Cat Piss.” satan commanded. “I eats mine toes off my floor one time I was 7 last week.” said Gregg.

So him and satan lived a happy life in hell. Untill the rent went up and Satan kicked Gregg into purgatory where he made lots of Athiest and Chinese friends.

Seriously, what does it do? I’ll hit it now…………nothing. Its just this useless thing that sits up there between F8 and F10 and just does nothing. Maybe it does something that you don’t know and will never know. Maybe it erases criminal records in the FBI or turns on the presidents blow dryer or something. What if it kills a random person instantly. I think that would be insanely cool. If you hit F9 and a list of everyone on earth comes up and you select who should die. I would use it all the time. For good, of course, not evil. Well, maybe some evil but whatever.

I think the F9 button should be like speed dial for God. Just hit F9 and an instant messaging window comes up so you can talk to God. Or better yet, anyone you want. They have to stop whatever their doing to talk to you and they can’t stop untill you want to stop. But I honestly think that the best function would be to bring anyone who is dead back to life. I would bring back Chris Farley, JFK, Janis Joplin, and Jim Henson. Basically we would all get together and play Rock Band. 

OH!!!!! I found what the F9 key REALLY does-It simply clears the current screen. It is smarter than a simple clear command, it does not affect the current line you are editing.

What a waste………….=[

1.Call me butter cause i’m on a roll—appelez-moi cause de beurre que je suis sur un roulement

2.Learn to use a toilet—Apprenez à employer une toilette

3.Kicking cats—Coups de pied des chats

4.I like shredded wheat—J’aime le blé déchiqueté

5.Spartans! What is your profession?—Spartans. Quel est votre proffession ?

6.Don’t look at me with that tone of voice—Ne me regardez pas avec cette tonalité de voix

7.Terrorists are bad people—Les terroristes sont de mauvaises personnes

This is probably the useless blog ever.

Yes. This is a blog. I’m pretty sure you blog about stuff in blogs. So I’m just sitting here eating flaming hot cheetos and typing this blog in the library. It seems as though my shoe is untied. I would love nothing more than to bend over and tie it but i’m too busy with this thing. Never mind, my shoe is not untied. I thought it was. Oh, well. Maybe next time.

I love moshing. It’s pretty amazing. Getting the chance to hardcore dance to brutal music is an oppertunity worth doing. That is completely off the subject but then again there really is no subject. I hate meatballs. Like seriously. I think I’m done.